baking is love
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the library is love
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(I was poking around on LJ today, reading someone's archives, and thinking about how I never post on here any more. But I had to post these!)

Squee!!

Jan. 10th, 2009 10:07 am
NPH is hosting SNL tonight!!!
Copy this sentence into your LiveJournal or blog if you're in a heterosexual marriage, and you don't want it "protected" by people who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow.

Nuff said. Seriously.

Quiet

Sep. 8th, 2008 08:22 am
I dropped both kids off at school this morning, with their little backpacks and their little lunchboxes, and their little outfits that they picked out last night. Now I'm home alone, and the part that's feeling nicest to me right at this moment is that I don't have to talk to ANYONE for the next 6 hours. Bliss.

On the downside, that silence seems to be enforcing itself upon me a bit more strongly than I expected, because my email and website just went down. The hosting guys are on it, but "on it" for them can still take hours and hoooooouuuuurrrs. Whatever.
beanmom: (Goofy Sammy-girl)
Check it out, check it totally out. Here.
"Mommy, why are you so fat?"

Thus my adorable six-year-old piped up last night, apropos of nothing, as we were getting ready for bed. Felt like a right cross to the side of my head, and it's still hurting like hell this morning.

I'm sure I'm not alone here in saying that I have issues around food. My mother, child and sister of morbidly obese women, spent every day of her adult life obsessing about food. She was beautiful and strong and healthy (except for that pesky cancer), but not a bite went into her mouth that was unexamined and free from guilt. She would dream about delicious food and wake herself before tasting it, for fear that it was real and she would gain weight. I don't want to be like that. I struggle daily with finding the balance between the pleasure of eating well and the harm that can come to me from eating the wrong things*.

* I'm not just talking about calories here -- I have a family history of diabetes and insulin resistance and problems with carbs, and it is always a challenge for me to eat in a way that doesn't make my blood sugar wobble uncomfortably.

I don't want to be miserable like my mom, but I don't like the way I look. I have a 5-months-pregnant-looking pot belly, and cellulite on my thighs and ass. I could stand to lose 15-20 pounds. Problem is, my body is remarkably similar in shape to my mother's body. If she looked like this while subsisting on 1000 calories a day and 40-mile bike rides and 2-hour tennis games, how much hope do I have for ever looking like a supermodel?

I exercise (usually by playing DDR), but not with the goal of weight loss; I exercise so that I will feel strong and sleep better and make a good example for my kids. I watch what I eat, but not with the goal of weight loss; I try to treat myself well, because food is a prime pleasure for me, while also taking care of myself by not eating stuff that is going to make me feel worse later. I would probably lose some of this belly if I went more strictly low-carb, but the last time I did that, I got so depressed from self-deprivation and frustrated from food boredom that I was worried about my mental state.

I want to pass on a healthy sense of self-acceptance and balance to my kids. I want them to learn to eat well, and move their bodies, because they know that's what makes them feel strong and healthy. Why do they think it's so interesting or funny or okay to tell me how fat I am all the damn time? And what the hell do I say to them when they do??

None of this is helped by the fact that I am going to the beach in two weeks. I hate walking around in a swimsuit. Bleh.
1. Dr. Horrible is back online! If you don't understand my icon, go watch and learn!!

2. More book ideas for kids and kid-like adults!
It seems like the only time I ever post here any more is when I want to show off a new icon. This post is no exception. :D

Cuppycakes

Jul. 5th, 2008 04:09 pm
Got bored, made a new icon, there it is. Alice helped me decide what words to use. Pictures from here.

Your result for The Which Lolcat Are You? Test...

Serious Cat


Hungry for knowledge in any internet forum, you demand decorum. Any off-topic remarks, absurd statements, or tomfoolery on the interweb is deeply frowned upon by you. Truth has no room for drollery.



To see all possible results, checka dis.

Take The Which Lolcat Are You? Test at HelloQuizzy

The meme that's goin' around...
Who comments the most on this journal? )
Info about the LJ advisory panel elections from someone who knows more than I do. :)
Good news! The lump has definitely gotten smaller in the last month, which indicates that it's something glandular and not worrisome. The midwife said, "nothing bad gets smaller like that."
I go to my midwife for the recheck of my breast today at 11:45 EST. Vibes for a lump that has not grown are appreciated!!
The girls and I are going to be in a music video!! Details are in my blog! *squeeee*
I bought this shirt, but I got the wrong size -- I stupidly ordered Women's Large (which corresponds to a size 8/10, chest 36-38", waist 30-32"), and it's too tight for me. Does anyone want to buy it off me? I paid $15 (no shipping) but I will take $10 and I'll pay the shipping. It's brand new -- all I did was try it on and take it off.

Taken! :)
The meme: Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. Afterward, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own

[livejournal.com profile] anime_heart gave me the letter T.

T is for The LJ cut )
Just wanted to post and let everyone know that my daughter is adorable. That is all.
We couldn't find the lump -- the ultrasound tech and I both felt around in there and couldn't feel anything. She went ahead and took some shots of the area where it had been and showed them to, um, someone in authority in another room that I didn't see. Then she came back and said, "he didn't see anything, but we'll send these films to your doctor. You should hear back in a day or two."

I'm juuust about to start my period today, so it looks like the lump is/was related to my cycle, which I is a good thing (I think).

Thanks to everyone for the vibes and support. It really helped. I'm not going to keep spamming everyone like this, so I'll be posting future updates in my blog. :)
I'm sending this to pretty much everyone who knows me...

For those not reading about this on my blog, my midwife found a lump in my breast last week. She thinks it's probably a fibroadenoma (i.e. hormonal and not worrisome), but it's in the same spot on the same breast where my mother found her first malignant lump. She was only 4 years older then than I am now, and she was dead 7 years later from metastatic cancer.

SOOOO, I am trying not to worry about all of this but only kind of succeeding. I am going in on this Monday morning at 9 am EST for an ultrasound, and possibly a mammogram if they feel my breasts are amenable to that (I'm still lactating, but REALLY minimally).

Please, at any time between now and then, at home or at your place of worship or anywhere or any way you choose, please send prayers and vibes and wishes that I get definitive word that this lump is totally harmless. Thanks.
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